The term “gray divorce” may sound catchy, but it succinctly captures the phenomenon it describes: separations involving couples in their 50s or older, often married for decades. Once considered rare, these divorces have become more prevalent as aging populations grow and societal norms evolve.
New times, new trends.
Divorces with a name. Love has no set script, and neither does falling out of it. Some marriages end just a few years after vows are exchanged, others unravel after decades, and some culminate in divorce when both partners are well into their 60s. Sociologists and demographic researchers have coined a term for this latter phenomenon: “gray divorces.”
The term isn’t new. The American Association of Retired Persons already used it in 2004. In 2012, Bowling Green State University researchers even spoke of a “gray divorce revolution.” Since then, it has attracted the attention of more experts. Today, the phrase is repeated in a number of essays, including an in-depth article published this year that seeks to explore its causes.
The numbers speak volumes. The U.S. divorce rate for adults aged 50 and older has more than doubled over the past two decades. In 2010, nearly 25% of divorces were considered “gray.” By today, close to 40% of separations involve individuals over 50. Notably, this trend is even more pronounced among those aged 65 and older.
Why the rise? “Late-life divorce is on the rise in the Western world, even in family-oriented societies like Israel, where the prevailing marital status for adults aged 60 and older is being in a long-term heterosexual marriage with grown children,” a team of researchers from the University of Haifa noted in a recent study. Their analysis highlighted a particularly notable increase in divorces among couples aged 65 and older, shedding light on the evolving dynamics of gray divorce.
So why do they separate? The big question. And there’s no single answer. The first and obvious answer is that it’s not just those getting divorced who have changed, but society, which is increasingly aging in several regions. Considering that the average age of Americans has gradually increased since the 1970s and that the number of people over the age of 64 has continued to grow, it makes sense that there are more divorces involving couples who have reached their 50th birthday. Life expectancy has also increased, expanding the horizon for couples.
“These conditions have enhanced their ability to enjoy life.” “In these societies are relatively healthy and well-functioning. These conditions have enhanced their ability to enjoy life while still possible,” the University of Haifa researchers observed. They attribute the rise in gray divorces to demographic shifts, such as an aging population, and changes in cultural and social norms. “Divorce among the elderly is increasing due to transformations in marital and family structures as well as broader demographic trends,” they added.
Although this provides a general framework, some nuances warrant attention. A recent study from Bowling Green State University, for instance, noted a slight decline in divorce rates among couples in their 50s and 60s since 2022. The researchers suggested an intriguing hypothesis: Gray divorce might be “largely” tied to baby boomer couples—spouses born around the mid-20th century—whose marital dynamics reflect a unique generational context.
One process, two phases. The University of Haifa researchers uncovered another key insight: Divorces after age 50, or even later in life, are typically the result of a “complex” and drawn-out process spanning several years. This process often unfolds in two distinct phases. “The first is the long continuous phase of staying together despite growing apart, leading to divorce by motivations along with delays. The second captures the moment of the final decision to divorce, through a point of no return/turning points, along with various background accelerators.”
Experts have further identified two primary dimensions of divorce among older couples: interpersonal and demographic. Of the two, the former is particularly compelling because it mirrors the reasons younger couples often cite for separation. These include emotional estrangement, infidelity, health or financial challenges, poor communication, behavioral shifts, or imbalanced household roles.
Second chances in love. Another phenomenon researchers have highlighted is the occurrence of multiple “gray divorces” within a single lifetime. This term refers to individuals who remarry after ending a previous marriage at age 50 or older, only to divorce again.
Data from Bowling Green State University revealed the incidence of multiple gray divorces: 8.5% of men and 6.5% of women who experience a gray divorce go on to face subsequent separations. Despite these figures, the majority of individuals experience only one gray divorce.
Why is this important? Understanding gray divorce is crucial for several reasons. First, it sheds light on a social trend that has been growing for decades. Second, studying the circumstances and dynamics of gray divorces provides a more nuanced understanding of the older population.
As researchers Susan L. Brown and I-Fen Lin argued in a seminal study, “The traditional focus of gerontological research on widowhood must be expanded to include divorce as another form of marital dissolution.” They also warned that although more than 600,000 Americans aged 50 and older had divorced by 2010, the broader population implications of this trend remain poorly understood.
Images | Sheggeor laker (Unsplash) | Bennett Tobias (Unsplash)
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